


Back to Back

by AkaJunie



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Reflection, maybe platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-03-27 07:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13875858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkaJunie/pseuds/AkaJunie
Summary: Yuzuru Hanyu has said to Javier Fernandez before the Medal Ceremony: "I cannot do it without you". What is the context behind that teary acclamation?The back-story about their mutual support to pull each other through this tough season.





	1. The Bumpy Start

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, this is my first work. I cannot contain my feelings for those soft boys anymore and they were so soft I have to write this. This fic is basically how I imagine what their interaction in period of post-NHK and pre-Olympic, and it is written just to comfort my little heart :). Hope you guys will enjoy it.
> 
> Warning:  
> \- I'm not sure if I would recommend this to people who want romantic Yuzuvier contents because this fic would be mainly platonic as I prefer to infer their relationship in a friendly/bromance light.  
> \- English is not my mother language so if there is any silly mistake, please pardon me.  
> \- Mentioning of the "r" word, and injury so if it makes you sad and uncomfortable, please think twice before reading.  
> \- Unbata-ed work.  
> Disclaimer: This work is pure fiction, and bears no relation to real life characters and their life.

It starts off like a surprise. Javier recalls Brian asked him, almost jokingly, that if he would want to leave for Autumn Classics, where Yuzuru has usually opened his season at in the last 2 years. Part of him could not yet forget urging need to revenge after not medaling in any major competition, with the exclusion of European Championship of course, and part of him did not want to even continue for the whole season. He knows a change of wind would be at least less suffocating than the guilt, the insecurities and self-doubting he had been breathing since the end of last season, so Javi packs his stuff anyways and Coach Orser takes his 2 prodigies to Autumn Classics for the opening of their Olympics season.

 

Yuzuru is a little bit happier than he expected, his fluffy hair bobbing, as he greets Javi in the way he always did when they started their mutual practice together, a pat on the back with a half-hug. They did not bump into each other often for a while, since the team decided that it would be better to separate their schedule, because of his training mate’s well-known aggressiveness when it came to the Olympics Gold and for Javi’s carefully-hidden-but-noticed-by-his-coach insecurities. It is lacking of the usual push that has pulled Javi through many seasons, but he is relieved that he could do things at his own pace for a while. Practice has been going on acceptably, not every jumping pass turning out perfect, but Javi assured himself that is just the beginning of the season. However, that Yuzuru is avoiding jumps, which he always threw out a bunch, and the absence of the 4Lutz that rumors had it that Yuzuru is chasing, does not escape Javi. He decides to put the matter aside, instead of digging too much into his training mate’s state, for he also had a competition to prepare. At the end of the day, they are rivals after all. The competition passes by quickly, with Yuzuru setting a new world record, but loses the gold medal to Javi because of a quite messed-up free skate to Brian’s terror-mixed pride. _“Maybe this is why they wanted us to practice separately”_ , Javier thinks to himself. Yuzuru is a whirlwind and it is extremely damaging to be caught into the middle of his acceleration sometimes.

 

Javi is light-hearted at the medal ceremony, feeling that some little confidence has come back to him, as he stands on the top of the podium, with Yuzuru holding a silver medal by his side. They are relaxed at the medal ceremony, goofing around and posing for some fans’ photos, and it seems to like pieces are falling into place again. By the time they are out of the competition venue, getting ready to leave for the airport in one of the shuttle bus, Javi hears from in front of him, where his coach and training mate are trailing ahead, a discussion on something close to “legs, examined in Toronto” and caught a glimpse of Yuzuru’s defensive and Brian’s worried faces. He tries his best to look natural when the coach and skater duo hauling their luggage onto the bus, and the three sat down silently in remaining seats where Tracy is sitting nearby, and the bus’s engine rumbles to life and everyone headed towards the airport. Javi hopes to take advantage of their little time to sleep, but could not get rid of the clog out of his mind. As he opens his eye, and takes a peek at the seat on the opposite aisle, Yuzuru is staring outside to the old buildings of Quebec absent-mindedly, and his grip tightens on his right knee. Javi does not think this should be the ending for their first competition in the season.

 

The Grand Prix Series is in full swing when Javi’s first assignment takes place at the Cup of China. He has been in the series tons of time, but the first time ever in the series would not be half as unsettling as what he is feeling at the moment. Brian has been hospitalized since Skate Canada, so there he is, trying his best to be a responsible adult and look after himself. However, Javi’s effort is in vain when he decides to taste some unusual local dishes from street vendors while having a walk to clear his mind after being placed 2nd after the short program and the result for his impulsiveness does not turn out well. After answering Brian’s call checking on his conditions while striving to suppress the nausea that is crawling in his stomach, Javi gulps the digestive medicine that he is luckily reminded to pack into his suitcase by Laura, launches himself onto the bed and prays that this terrible feeling would go away by the time his free skate started the following day. Javi lures himself into sleep but his brain seemed to have different ideas and his mind ended wandering aimlessly. He recalls being second in qualifying competitions many times in the past, but not for the past few years. He thought of Yuzuru’s silver in Rostelecom, a traditional silver at the beginning of the season, and then the quad evolution, with younger guys throwing in a used-to-be unimaginable number of quads, including jumps that nobody would expect to be possible to achieve, like the lutz. Javi suddenly feels like he is being left behind, as the sport is being pushed forward so rapidly, his training mate being one contributor and eagerly racing, while he is losing momentum. His thoughts wandered back to his and Patrick’s friendly dinner in the summer, light-hearted and casual at the start, but as alcohol struck in, Patrick revealed his despair. In their sport, everyone who has been in the senior circuit for more than 10 years can be called a veteran, whom everyone expect will step out of the game soon. His friend surely had a tough season last year, and Patrick told Javi he would end his career after the upcoming Olympics. Javi once thought he still had time, and he was still capable of staying in the race, chasing, pushing Yuzuru for the better as they had ever done to each other since Yuzuru joined the Cricket Club, for there are not so many up-and-downs in this career but at this rate, he assumes it is time to prepare himself for the end, however regretful it may turn out. Maybe someday Yuzuru would not need him as a motivation anymore. As he drifts off to sleep, uncertainties and fear still floating around his head.

 

\----

 

Javi steps into his usual practice to see nobody is taking the ice, although he is already 15 minutes late. Gabby and Elizabeth are sitting in the benches at the rink entrance, while Jun Hwan is showing them a video on his phone and, whatever they are watching, they all do not look pleased. Javi utters a small hello, not wanting to disturb the moment, but the younger skaters jolt and look at him with mournful eyes. Javi could not help his itching curiosity.

 

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t any of you guys practicing? Where’s Tracy and Brian?”

 

“They are in the office, discussing something about what happened at NHK.”

 

Jun Hwan answers Javi but is immediately slapped on the back by both Gabby and Elizabeth. Then they break off to train, leaving Javi with the unknown “what happened at NHK”, and a follow up whispering conversation between his training mates: “It has been a tough start for everyone this season”.

 

Brian and Tracy emerges from the office with stern looks on their faces when Javi just finishes a round of stroking.  It is nice to see his reliable coach, dad and friend, and that gave him a sense of security, but Brian looks far from being relieved, as he moves on to instructing Javi on his training schedule. The training session on that day is overcasted by heavy silence, and ended 10 minutes earlier than it is supposed to. Which makes Javi feel weirder is that none of his training mates sticks around for a trip to Starbucks, or just brief talk, and wordlessly they pack and head out of the rink as soon as they could. The strangeness bewildered him, so he hurried to the skating consultants’ office to catch Tracy and Brian before them leaving. Javi knocks on the door, or to be more precise, raps on it until he is answered by a tired “Come in” by Brian. Javi pushes open the door, to reveal Tracy making some tea instead of coffee for Brian, as he has not been allowed to drink coffee at this stage after his operation, and Brian with two hands rubbing his face, beside his still turned on phone.

 

“What’s going on with the club today? I have never experienced this level of discomfort since I first came here 7 years ago.”

 

Brian just hums tiredly, and Tracy offers a cup of tea for Javi.

 

“I don’t know if we should tell you this. You still have a competition coming, and at the end of the day…you guys are rival after all.”

 

At this point it becomes very clear for Javi all the gloom that overcasts the club is because something, in the least pessimistic way, quite unfortunate happened to his Japanese training mate.

 

“Just let him know already. He deserves it.”

 

Brian sighs as if he has been holding his breath for 10 years straight.

 

“Yuzu had an injury at NHK practice this morning. It is quite severe, but they haven’t been able to analyze exactly what happened to his leg.”

 

Javi just stares as Brian continued. Another injury to his training partner, right at this point, right in his home country… Javi does not want to think about that anymore.

 

“Briand just called a while ago to update. He does some spins before leaving and still wanted to compete with painkiller, typical of him. Although I want fly to Japan right now and drag him back but it depends on his decision wholely so if he does compete, I can’t interfere.”

 

Brian is having a real crisis while Tracy takes out some tissue to wipe her tears. She is surely extremely worried, as she considers her skaters daughters and sons. It is heart-broken to hear about injuries of any of the athletes, let alone Javi’s training mate, who is adored by practically everyone.

 

Brian’s phone vibrates on his working desk, and he picks up immediately, and does not even bother to look at the caller’s ID.

 

“Yes, oh, Yuzu. Okay, calm down. Remember, this is for the best. Your goal is gold the Olympic, not here okay? It’s okay, it’s no one’s fault! I should have been there with you… Right, you’ve been working hard, so take a rest, and come back here whenever you want. You can always go back to this place. Good bye, remember what I say okay? No problems. I’m hanging up.”

 

There is silence in the room, until Brian decides to break it with another sigh.

 

“I don’t know how to feel anymore. Really sad or relieved. I’m glad he know that he should withdraw, but he cried a lot you know.”

 

Brian looked at Tracy, who just pulls another sheet from the tissue box nearby and wipes her tears again. Javi stood dumbfounded, taking in the shocking news and the swirl of emotions.

\---

Another week passes by with no update from Yuzuru. Briand returned to the club some days ago, after making sure to smooth things over with the crazy media, and all Javi knew is that Yuzuru is staying at his hometown for the meantime. All the coaches are very tight-lipped and mentioning this matter in the club resembles saying Voldermort’s name in Harry Potter.

 

Javi avoids reading any news and contact effort from the media, knowing that they would just dig information about his training mate from him, and he himself has Internationaux de France to deal with one week later. He does not even aim to qualify for the final anymore, because of his disaterous performance in Cup of China, so he is taking practice much easier, perhaps neglectfully. He is coming home less tired, less bruised but emptier. He starts questioning why he is still here, skating for nothing, why he keeps on going when people doubt his ability when comparing him to the young high fliers, and he recalls Patrick’s words at their dinner: “Better retire when you haven’t loss all momentum, or people will remember nothing of you”. Those words suddenly strikes in and Javi does not felt hungry anymore. He just needs a shower then some sleep, to distract him from this misery.

 

Javi wants a distraction, but what he is given must be a joke of God. Javi phone lights up when he is fetching a towel to dry his hair, and comes a text from no-one but the very man that just disappeared from the skating world last week. Yuzuru. Well, that is truly an unexpected distraction.

 

>> Hello, I want talk. Can’t sleep well so wake up too early.

 

< Just a min.

 

Javi quicly slips into his worn t-shirt and pjama pants, and settles himself in the bed before calling Yuzuru back. When his team mates says “Hello”, Javi almost hangs up because he thinks he hits the wrong number. Yuzuru’s voice is hoarse, broken and quiet, almost inaudible. It sounds like he has been screaming too much, which Javi thought he really does. It is heart-broken to think about what Yuzuru has been suffering since his injury, how powerless and vulnerable he is feeling, especially for a someone who always aims for bettering himself and overcome difficulty. Yuzuru knows he is taking pitying him.

 

“No worry. I’m still ok.”

 

This is what Yuzuru always says when he is not fine at all and it has become an old game for Javi to tell.

 

“No you are not and you would not be until you can step on to the ice again.”

 

His friend sighs, and they stay silent for a solid 5 minutes. Javi is thankful of the invention of the internet, or he would pay a fortune for this.

 

“What you should do now is follow doctor’s instructions, and be patient with the healing process, Yuzuru. This could not be rushed or your comeback will be deldayed even more. I know you are feeling really comfortable, but trust the people who want to help you, and don’t make your family worry.”

 

Javi realized he started rambling, because he himself is quite worried for Yuzuru, too.

 

“You mom, Javi”. Yuzuru replies with a short and low huff. Yet, it seems like he is not feeling any better, but it is better to know that at least Javi’s consideration lightened his friend’s mood a bit.

 

“But, I envy of you. And so people out there. You guys can train, compete, skate. It’s sad just looking skating.”

 

It stings. The Spaniard does not expect this. Guilt creeps in. How could he neglect training and skating, too caught up in his messy thoughts, and underestimate it as something like his boring daily job description? It is unfair, for people like Yuzuru and also other injured skaters, who are yearning for being back on the ice but simply cannot. Javi is lost in thoughts that he does not notice what Yuzuru just said.

 

“…back. Javi? Javi?”

 

“Yes, sorry I’m just spacing out a bit.”

 

“Javi must be tired of training. I think I should stop bothering.”

 

“No you are not bothering me…”

 

Damn it, he yawns. And there is awkward silence again, before Yuzuru says his goodbye and hangs up.

 

 _“How I’m gonna deal with this emotional mess”,_ thinks Javi as he flops onto the bed and falls into a disturbed sleep.

 

\---

 

Javi skates his free program in Internationaux de France with his gratitude for being able to skate in mind. At the beginning of the competiton, with the fluffy quad-boy Shoma also participating, Javi did not held his hope high, and he just expected to manage a podium finish at best. But here he is, holding a blue plastic star, with number 1 written by white paint on it. Having Brian back at the board does matter a lot, and the realization of how lucky he is not having to sit out watching competitions via television also helps. As his national anthem being played, Javi silently thanks his country, his coaching team, and also his teammate.

 

By the time Javi resumes his daily training at the Cricket Club, Yuzuru has already come back to Canada, or that is what he knows from Brian. The Japanese man has not been able to practice yet, so they never meet at the club. Javi is amazed at how things change, since this is the first time since Yuzuru came along, Brian does not have to take both of them to the Grand Prix Final, and Javi knows his coach does not prefer this discharge from responsibility. He has been pulling himself together for Gold at European now. Although there is no pressure for him to get the gold medal at the event, he does not want to relinquish his title. Javi works hard everyday, and sometimes he even asks to practice overtime, after the novice class ends at 7 p.m., when there is nothing but the scraping sound of his blades cutting the ice. He has done that a few times, especially when he just needs an escape from thinking aimlessly about what he would do when everything is over.

 

One day, Javi asks Brian for permission to use the rink overtime, he does not receive an instant nod like usual. Instead, his coach tells him to wait a little bit while he comes into the staff room and makes a phone call.

 

“Is it okay if Yuzuru comes and watch you skate today?”

 

That is the first thing Brian tosses at Javi when he comes back to the rink side. Javi is at a loss for word, as he does not know how to respond. He wants to help Yuzuru in some way or another, but he cannot heal his partner’s injury by skating on behalf of him, and he wonders if watching him skate will hurt Yuzuru even more. Brian surely notices Javi’s hesitation.

 

“But if you are uncomfortable, we can always pass.”

 

“No, tell him to come. It’s fine. I think I can work it out some way.”

 

Javi blurts out. He does not know how that can help, but he trusts his team, his coaches, and his training mate. Maybe a miracle will happen to Yuzuru, and Javi cannot be happier if he has some contribution in realizing it.

 

That evening when the last class dismisses, Javi comes back to the rink. When he steps into the hallway after fetching the key from the receptionist, a familiar frame has been waiting at the door leading to the rink. Javi has seen this black clad figure, slender but full of strength to the point of familiarity. The small shoulder frame that looks too slim but is able to carry tremedous hopes and dreams of its owner and his country. Javi is swept away everytime he sees Yuzuru from the back, not by the intensity he radiates, but the serenity amidst the storm that surrounds him, and the crutches that are supporting him cannot do anything to waver Yuzuru’s aura. It startles Javi and he realizes he has been staring for a little bit longer than he should, and stratching his hair, he begins to walk towards his training mate.

 

Yuzuru must hear Javi’s footsteps drawing closer to him, because he turns back, to see Javi waving and holding out the keys. They have separated several times before, for their respective competitions schedules, or long off-season months when neither of them participates in many ice-shows, but this time, meeting Yuzuru again is nothing like the other times. Yuzuru smiles at him with a slight nod – signature Yuzuru’s greeting again, but there is visible sadness in his eyes, as his grip tightens on the supporting crutches. Javi approaches the door, and Yuzuru steps aside for him to insert the key in the lock. The clicking sound echoes in the silence of the vacated building, as Javi push the door open. Brian left the light on, since the class just ended a few minutes ago. Yuzuru stares blankly at the rink, and remains motionless, then he closes his eyes, taking in the chilly air of the ice. He has missed the ice. That is for certain.

 

Javi quickly goes through his warm-up routine and is now lacing up his skates. Yuzuru is obediently sitting on one of the benches at the other end of the rink that is too far from Javi. Wordlessly, he times his music for the free skate, then does a few laps around the rink. He can feel Yuzuru’s eyes tracing his every movement, but due to years of experience, Javi has stops feeling uncomfortable. Instead, he just collects his mind and focus on the upcoming routine. “Man of La Mancha”’s notes swell in the silence of the rink, and Javi can see Yuzuru suddenly tense up, eyes focusing on the ice like he is skating the routine himself. It has ever been like that, when the Japanese boy observes something in order to learn from it. It brings Javi back to the old days, when his team mate was a 17 year-old boy who just arrived in a foreign country, carrying more than his own desire to skate, skate and win. He still remembers being gawked at so carefully by Yuzuru at their first jumping session together, to the extent the stray hair strands stood up at the back of his hair, because he could feel the burning hunger for Javi’s weapon, the 4 Salchow. And as time passed by, unconsciously he has been doing the same thing, observing and silently admiring the boy that would push himself up from nasty falls and try again and again until Brian and Tracy had to interrupt to stop him from killing himself. It was the stark contrast to Javi laidback personality, and that fuels him up till now, on the way of seeking Spain’s first Olympic medal. The first handshakes after a successful practice, or the first time they extended their hands to pull each other up after a fall, the first time they actually talked and found out a few similarities, seem like yesterday, but it has been 6 years, and the memory still warms Javi’s heart everytime he recalls, for he knows, there is not only bitter rivalry, but also unique and precious friendship that should be treasured. Too caught up in his head, Javi misses the first jumping pass, and he decides he would do a jump-only run through later. Yuzuru does not seem to mind, as his eyes still stick to the lone man on the ice.

 

By the times Javi moves to practicing jumps, Yuzuru has positioned himself at the bench facing the center of the rink, facing Javi. Well, he has come out of his shell, and only skating has the power to bring Yuzuru Hanyu out of his shelf. Javi replays the music again, and as he gears up for the opening 4 Toeloop, Yuzuru’s body also moves in the similar motion of preparing, entering and landing the jump, corresponding with what Javi is doing out on the ice. Javi lands the toeloop, a little shakily but he can hear the familiar clapping sound, what is always heard when someone lands jumps. The 4 Salchow turns out so well that even Javi is surprised, as he hears a gasp followed by loud claps from the side of the rink. The remaining jumps, however, turn out quite wobbly, but Javi is satisfied because it feels like this is the best training session in the whole week. Another person’s existence in the rink gives out a sense that there are always people out there who trust his ability and support him, like his coaches, and Yuzuru. Having finished the first run-through, Javi skates back to the rink side to take a short rest. Yuzuru has already held out the water bottle and towel for him, so he fetches them with a thank you, which is replied by a warm look in Yuzuru’s eyes. They sit side by side on the bench, Javi gulping his water and Yuzuru fidgeting the zip of his jacket.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“Angry and sad because I can’t skate.”

 

Javi realizes he should clarify his question.

 

“So sorry about that. How is your leg?”

 

Yuzuru closes his eyes, and touch his ankle and knee. Javi can tell his friend flinches when he touches his ankle.

 

“Knee not so bad. Ankle is terrible. I don’t know if I can even skate anymore.”

 

“You can. Surely can. The time is just not right yet. Personally, I think this injury did you some good.”

 

Yuzuru widens his eyes, stares at Javi, and snorts like he has done something very funny, but there is no humor in his eyes. Just when Javi wants to smack himself in the face because he does not know if he offended Yuzuru by saying that, the melancholy is back on the other skater’s face.

 

“Brian said the same thing. I didn’t think so but everyone agrees. I have no other way but to accept rehabiri, but I still frustrated with myself very much.”

 

“Then think of it as a chance to focus on yourself. Normally this time of the year, we would never have time for ourselves, either to relax or to reflect on our competitions, or just sit down and have a talk like what we are doing right now.”

 

Javi looks at his friend in the eyes, and gives Yuzuru’s an assuring squeeze, then they linked their fingers together and just stays like that for a while. Yuzuru’s hand is warm, much warmer than Javi’s gloved one. They have done this before, in the green room where the result comes out, or at the rink side when waiting for the call for them to step on the podium together, or just when one needs comfort and safety and the other is ready to provide it. Whenever he holds Yuzuru’s hand, Javi feels special and assuring, for he knows his friend always support him, especially in moment he needs it most. Sometimes he wonders if he has ever fallen in love with the other man, and many a time the answer has been yes, he did at some point, and many a time, the answer is no, because his feeling for Yuzuru resembles deep admiration, respect and sympathy. They have been together for so long, have seen one another’s success, struggle, despair and happiness much too often, so the bond they share, Javi would say, is more complicated but at the same time, much simpler than anything that people might think they are. They are one another’s motivation, inspiration and remedy for dark days like this, and he is grateful that fate decided to bring Yuzuru to the Cricket Club to skate alongside with him.

 

“Okay, one more run through, and I think I should call it a day. Tell your mom to come and pick you up. I will stay here with you until she comes.”

 

Javi’s hand rubs the back of Yuzuru’s hair, where his friend always unconsciously touches to calm himself down, and Yuzuru looks up to him and smiles a little. Javi is glad that this warm smile is back, because it suits the Japanese boy so much better than the long and stressful face he was wearing when he arrived today.

 

The overtime practice ends shortly after that. Javi and Yuzuru go to the coffee lounge where Yuzuru would pick up a can of warm lemonade and for Javi, coffee, from the vending machine, while waiting for Yuzuru’s mother to come pick him up. They share some small talks, Yuzuru telling Javi about the other times he had to sit on a wheelchair not just using crutches like this, and Javi is terrified. He tells Yuzuru his ridiculous childhood accidents, when he skated on his face after attempting a single axel, broke his nose and had to wear mask to school, and got teased by the entire class, and the time he tried football in figure skating style and ended up twisting his ankle. His friend cannot stifle his horse laugh and laughed too hard he almost spills the can he is holding, and Javi has to admit he has missed this laughing Yuzuru, though sometimes the noise can startle him. His training mate’s phone rings and Yuzuru says his mother has arrived and she will wait at the entrance of the club. Just before leaving, Yuzuru puts his arms around Javi neck and hugs him tight, and Javi returns, while thinking that he even misses their hugs too.

 

“Thank you very much baby-sitter Javi. I feel better now”. Okay, now Yuzuru has been positive enough to tease him. “When you practice, can I come see again?”. He asks, with a little hesitation, fearing that he would disturb his friend, a typical Yuzuru’s feature.

 

“Anytime you want, just give me some head-up”. Javi means what he said, and he does not mind sharing these moments again with Yuzuru after all. “You can come to my practice with others as well”.

 

“Later then”. Yuzuru waves at Javi as he exits the lounge, walking with his crutches even more quickly than Javi walks normally.

 

His practice today is strangely rewarding.

To be continued.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parallel real life events:  
> Grand Prix series:  
> \- Cup of China: where Javi placed 6th and apparently had stomach's problems.  
> \- NHK Trophy: I don't want to mention the thing again cause it would disturb people so if you don't know search it online.  
> \- Cup of France: where Javi placed 1st :)  
> Others:  
> \- Brian Orser was hospitalized for a surgery after Skate Canada.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoy the chapter. Comments are much welcomed!!  
> I intend to write a big one about 10k words at first but I think it's better to separate into smaller chunks. Also, I hope that I would be able to finish this before school starts in April. See you guys in the next chapter(s)!


	2. The Calm Before The Storm?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out from the rink and onto the plane, 2 skaters would step on to South Korea's land. The time between would unfold in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the (very) late update. School has started since April and I cannot spend too much time on writting, which makes me really guilty, but here it is. This is originally intended to be longer, but I cannot leave it in my PC anymore since I keep going back to re-reading it, so we have, hopefully, 1 or 2 chapters to go. Anyways, as always, enjoy reading.

Just like that, Yuzuru has been coming to most of Javi’s extra-hour practices, except for nights he has to rush for his university assignment deadlines. He appears a few times at the club’s morning practice sessions too and is bombarded with questions but also encouraging words from people in the club, even non-skaters like tennis and curling coaches send Yuzuru their wishes for his quick recovery. Javi can feel the previously hold tension drains out of Yuzuru gradually, and his coaches must notice the same thing too. Yuzuru has been in a good mood while practicing his recovery therapy off-ice, more than often joking with Brian whenever he comes in to check on his student, singing outloud whileJapanese rock songs blasting in his headphones. The agony of not being able to be skating on ice has transformed into something much hopeful – the desire to be on ice as soon as possible, and Yuzuru is now able to rechannel his mind and energy into rehibilitation, as he works gradually but steadily towards his ultimate goal.Being around Yuzuru these days is like sitting around campfire, as the energy, and positive spirit he radiates can lift anyone mood. And that relieves and assures everyone, including Javi, as they know they can still hope for a brighter scene, in spite of their bumpy start.

\----

“Surprise!”. Everybody shouts as Yuzuru steps into the physiotherapy room. He is paralysed for a moment, and his lips breaks into a teeth-showing smile and his eye are scrunched together, while bowing and uttering “Thank you”. Tracy steps forward and presents the chocolate cake everyone has bought for him together, since strawberry cake is impossible in December Canada. As he holds it, Javi thinks he can see a drop of tear linger on his friend’s eye corners. Yuzuru receives not only a cake, but also a crushing group hugs from skaters, coaches, the rink staffs, and Zamboni drivers as well.Everyone laughs as he tries to lift his head to gasp for air. Javi wonders if this Yuzuru’s birthday comes close to his usual ones, which were always celebrated at the Grand Prix Final. They basically eat the cake for breakfast, because today’s practice is cancelled for Yuzuru’s birthday Special Grand Prix Final viewing at his requests. Coaches, skaters and staff, gather in the lounge, having a slice of cake with their drinks, eyes glued to the LCD TV broadcasting CBC’s coverage of the Men’s single event. Yuzuru is enjoying the nama chocolate layer on the cake, while eyeing the competitors in their 6-minute warm up. The “I should have been there” aura is almost tangible. Javi pokes him on the cheek with his fork still smeared with cream, startles him from his increasing fighting spirit despite not competing at all.

 

“Patience Yuzu.”

 

Yuzuru looks at him, understandingly, then slightly nods, then scoops a big chunk of white whipping cream and shoves his fork into Javi’s face, leaving a line of whipping cream on his nose and cheek. Javi is caught unawares and starts groaning, while scrambling for a tissue box nearby to clean up the mess on his face, but Yuzuru stops him with the appearance of his beloved Pooh tissue box, ready to supply tissue anytime. The Spaniard withdraws a sheet from the teddy bear box, feeling privileged. Not anyone can be offered a tissue sheet from the King of ice’s tissue box.

 

“You bastard.”

 

Yuzuru giggles with his Pooh on his lap.

 

“Patience, Javi.”  
  


He retorts with a motherly voice, and Javi could not be mad at this boy at all.

 

\----

 

Christmas and New Year passes by quickly. Javi always spent Christmas with their family but he never stayed over until New Year. He does this year, though, to squeeze out as much time with his family as possible, and time means precious emotional support for him in this season. Yuzuru, on the other hand, is not that lucky. He decided to withdraw from Japan National, to the team’s relief, and has to stay in Canada for the sake of his rehabilitation progress supervision. It is easier for the Japanese skater to come to terms with what he is compelled to do now, and Javi thinks Yuzuru is making every possible sacrifice to come back, skate and win like he always can. However, in this club, they train together but each also trains to win against others and knowing that Yuzuru is sacrificing many things for his goals encourages Javi to do the same.

 

Coming back from Spain after winning his National championship, he is readier than ever to retain his title in the European Championship and hunt an Olympic Medal for Spain, or a gold. He comes back to training to find out that Yuzuru has been allowed to train on ice again, after 3 months, which sounds like an eternity for professional ice skaters like them. It does not feel uneasy at all when he enters the rink and see the figure in black UA lacing up his skates on the bench, when the figure looks up and offers him an acknowledging smile and a slight nod. It feels right, like everything which has been disheveled for a long time can now find the right place. Yuzuru is still banned from doing anything other than just skating and light stroking practice, but he seems more contented than people would expect him to be. Maybe right now, being able to be back on the ice, the cold and hard surface to which they have immolated their youth, health, sometimes happiness - their life. Javi’s speculation proves valid.

 

“I thought never can skate again.”

 

Yuzuru utters when he is unlacing his skates after doing a few laps at the end of Javi’s overtime practice. Javi says nothing, just looks at his training mate with warm eyes. He understands what Yuzuru is feeling. Gratefulness.

 

“It’s good seeing you again.”

 

“Same, long time no training with Javi… We train together for Olympics medals?”

 

“Sure, why not? But I won’t let you have that gold easily”

 

“No Javi has to watch. I take gold.”

 

Yuzuru half-glares at him with his jokingly serious expression and Javi also tries to glare back at him but he fails unceremoniously by bursting out into a laugh. Yuzuru also follows after fighting to stifle his own. Javi knows. He wants the gold and so does Yuzuru. It is going to be every man for himself at this competition, but if the shiny gold is not his, he will not be happy if the one who snatches it from him is anyone other than the skater standing in front of him right now, for he is the one who has the chance to witness every single effort and sacrifice his partner is making every single day, and naturally, he hopes for the best, the best that Yuzuru deserves. He knows, the other is wishing the same thing for him, no doubt.

 

The Japanese seems to be able to read his mind, as he voices Javi’s thought out loud.

 

“If it’s not mine, I want it to be yours.”

 

Javi lifts his gaze from the ice, when his eyes meet Yuzuru’s in a nostalgic look, the same look that his partner gave him when he won his first Worlds. Under that look then concealed a tang of sadness, but at the same time it radiated happiness for the other from the bottom of the Japanese skater’s heart.

 

“But Javi has to fight to get it from me. Promise?”

 

Yuzuru extends his hand and Javi just shakes it, naturally as they have done many time.

 

Yuzuru’s smile is back, but that does not take away the weight in Javi’s chest, and he does not understand this particular complicated emotional lump in his heart now. However, there is only one thing he knows he certainly has to realize, that is to fight with all he has and give in everything he has owned, in order not to let Yuzuru, his team and his people down in the upcoming competition.

 

Javi pats his partner back and moves on to slip on his blade guards.

 

“Let see what I can do with your challenge.”

 

\----

 

Yuzuru has stopped coming to his overtime practices after Euro. They still have a few sessions together, but as the rush and hush for the Games is approaching, they do not see each other much outside of general skating skill class, or some unwinding stroking with Tracy. Yuzuru has been more solemn than usual, and Javi becomes quieter, too, as the hype is more tangible than ever, and both of them has duties to fulfill. They know they still have each other support in numbers, and unhealthy rivalry will be nothing but bad energy, so both wordlessly but diligently work towards their goal. *

 

~

 

Javi stares at the clear zip-lock bag in his hand, not knowing what he has to do with this information. He has seen these pills before, as his football friends usually use them when they need to be in the field at all cost. He has never been prescribed painkillers this strong, and no-one else in the club is that severely injured to be forced to take them, except for Yuzuru, whose private practice section has just been over for 15 minutes ago. He thought his friend has been recovering well, and the injury has retreated enough for him to pull off a wonderful performance at the Olympics, but things do not appear to be less uncertain. He grips the bag tightly in his fist, nearly crushing the thing, then with a heavy sigh, he places the item back to the exact place he found it - on the bench in front of the locker with a Japan flag pasted on the door and sits down to unpack the skates from his backpack. The door swings open unexpectedly and Javi is startled and nearly drops his towel. Yuzuru bursts into the room, eyes scanning for what Javi already knows. Yuzuru is alarmed when he notices the presence of another skater in the room, and he tries to suppress his panic and keep his composure. That is futile effort though. Javi stays silent, while Yuzuru just stares at him from the entrance.

 

“Javi…I…”

 

Yuzuru attempts to provide Javi with some explanation, but the other has already understood what he wants to get across.

 

“I trust your decision. Make it happen.”

 

And that is all Yuzuru hears from Javi before he is left alone in the changing room, the zip-lock bag sitting on the bench, and his friend’s back has disappeared behind the corridor leading to the rink.

 

\---

 

Counting the days remaining until the Olympics, they stay in Toronto to squeeze out as many practices as possible against the tickling clock. Brian has to leave first for Gabby and Jun’s Team Event, leaving Javi and Yuzuru to depart together with Tracy. Yuzuru has been very focused, but far from being tensed up, he emits an aura of tranquility that is so rare to see in athletes when they are about to step on one of the biggest stages of their life.

 

Javi must be lying to himself if he says he is feeling no stress at all. The regrets at Sochi and anxiety for this time, his final Olympics he has buried for the past months now starts to creep up from their grave where Javi thought he has managed to securely locked them out of his vision forever. He has been falling more than landing jumps in his final practice, and his legs seem to be wearing lead. This fails to be unnoticed by Tracy, as she orders him off the ice, together with Yuzuru, and ends their practice sooner than usual, for the sake of “getting as much rest as possible for their long flight 2 days later”, claims Tracy. Yuzuru has been hitting all his 3A, 4T and 4S on point today, so it is likely that his sense of jumps is back, although Javi can say that his ankles are far from having been recovered completely. They sit on the bench, side by side, while wordlessly unlacing their skates. Yuzuru leaves the rink first, after patting Javi’s back gently, and he feels that pat is not just an act of comfort, but also an unsaid “I trust you” from the Japanese skater, and Javi decides that whatever happens, he cannot betray the invaluable trust Yuzuru has placed in him and Yuzuru will need to do the same with his.

 

\---

 

Tracy is having a nice nap in her seat at the isle in front of them and Javi just admires people who can fall asleep so easily on the plane. Yuzuru is sitting soullessly in the seat beside him and Javi observes that this is the first time he boards the plane without his indispensable earphones. The other man keeps changing position and tries hard to flip through some airplane magazines, but it seems to be difficult without his earphone, as he cannot turn on the speaker of his beloved iPod in the flight. Javi makes a move to offer Yuzuru his spare pair of Apple’s earpods, but Yuzuru politely turns down, so he also takes of his pair of Beats and strikes a conversation that would distract both of them from the boredom. They stick with some small talks about the expected weather in Pyeongchang when they arrive, chit chat on which airline has the best food and such. Yuzuru leaves for the restroom about half an hour before their plane lands and changes into his Japanese Olympics Team’s uniform, and it hits Javi that it will be a decade until Yuzuru can finally rest after such a tiring flight, considering the media landmine that will engulf him the moment he steps out of the airplane gate. It has been six years since they started being partners, and Javi has seen responsibility, expectation, and national pride being increasingly heavy on Yuzuru’s shoulders year after each year, higher and more tangible as he ascends on the world ranking. He knows the Japanese skater is nowhere near timid in front of the blinding camera flash and microphones shoved into his face, but he also wonders if Yuzuru is exhausted, and yearning to be fragile sometimes, after all those long hours of putting on a strong and determined expression. This should be the moment it shows, Javi assumes, when he notices Yuzuru massages his temple and squints his eyes in an uncomfortable way.

An announcement of the plane’s landing echoes across the cabin, and there is rustle and thumping sound of overhead lockers cracking open, people dragging down their luggage. Yuzuru breathes in a deep breath, as his hands smooth over his hair at the back of his head, a familiar gesture which is usually seen when he is nervous. A fist bump suddenly appears in front of him, making him startled. Yuzuru raises his head and finds Javi looking at him, intently and sincerely, his eyes reflecting trust and encouragement. They bump their fists, and each silently stands up and grabs their backpacks, before lining up to get out of the plane, stepping their foot on South Korea’s land, where the hype of the Games is more than palpable, where the rawest feelings would be laid out for the world.

 

\--- To be continued---

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave kudos and comments! I would try hard to complete this as soon as I can!


	3. Gate of Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step by step, they officially enter the Games. Javi revisits some old places on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I must update to let everyone know I'm still alive. I have just done with finals and finally have time for writing again. I have also got a chance to go and see FaOI this year, which was amazing, and finally witnessed the 2 soft boys holding hands. Also I realized that though I've been in a number of fandoms and had a lot of ships, Yuzu and Javi is the first one I've become invested in to the extent of contributing a fic.  
> Anyway, enjoy the chapter and as usual, I appreciate every feedbacks and kudos.

Right after Yuzuru reaches the conveyor belt for his luggage after they finished with immigration process, he is immediately swarmed around by a pack of officials and security guards. Javi finds the tight protection advisable, considering the fact that there is highly likely a terrifying throng of fans waiting outside, and some of them are not that ready to hold themselves back from diving in and snatch Yuzu after his long absence. The Japanese skater exchanges some words with the officials in Japanese, and carefully listens, and takes mental notes of whatever the officials are informing him, which Javi guesses his schedule from the moment he steps out of that automatic slide doors, the only barrier separating them and the Olympics stage left. Yuzuru nods attentively to whatever the people around him are saying to him, while his luggage is being tolled on another cart and handled by another crew of officials. They even take care of his backpack, which makes Javi kind of jealous, for he himself is hauling his own suitcases on the airport carts with Tracy and some of the Spanish representatives. The treatment of the star. But Javi strudders when he thinks of the raw deal that goes along with that treatment. Yuzuru turns back to Javi and Tracy, waves gently, squares his posture, and marches out with 8 body guards circling him and the JOC crew trailing behind. Javi can hear shriek and scream when the doors open and camera flashes could probably blind him, even through a layer of glass. He has always admired Yuzuru for withstanding this kind of insanity for years, because his eyes and his head hurt just thinking about that, Javi muses, when he and Tracy, as well as the Spanish crew were standing afar from the bustling improvised press-corner right at the welcome lobby of the airport, camera flash flaring, reporters squeezed tightly together, to wait for the shuttle bus to the Athlete Village. A Japanese TV reporter, apparently has finished pouncing on Yuzuru at the just-done press section approaches Javi and asks him some questions, not anything serious, just courteous ones like how he feels after the flight, and such, but then he moves to the question of how he finds how Yuzuru’s media presence. Well, this is not a hard question, but a strange one, Javi thinks, because his opinion of his training mate’s notorious press-attracting power which is not unfamiliar to anyone in the skating world, is not the point here, so he just shrugs, and gives the reporter the 100% honest answer. “Well, he is brave, considering all that frenzy”, as he catches a glimpse of Yuzuru being whisked away into a waiting van.

\----

Javi drops his backpack on the floor of his room in the Athlete Village with a thud and stretches his shoulders to roll off the stiffness caused by a long day of paperwork and procedures. At least he got assigned a single room, a decent one, in Javi’s opinion. He would feel guilty of keeping whoever has to room with him awake because of the anxiety building up in his stomach right now. This is his last chance to get a medal. He surely wants to keep going until he wins a medal for Spain, if he does not make it this time, but he is unsure whether his body says so. He has been on the top of the pack long enough and is afraid of running out of steam sooner or later. The sound of his backpack falling flat on the floor from its upright position wakes Javi from his thoughts and strikes him that he has been standing still like a statue for 10 minutes solid. He shakes his head as if that could help him shake off the gloom and go to check his luggage to make sure nothing is lost. Thank god his skates and costumes are all here. If lost anything that is necessary to compete, he would instantly book a plane ticket to go back without a second thought. Javi decides it is time to end the monologue with himself to shower and hit the sack early.

 

When Javi just exited from the shower, he heard a light rap on the door. Hurriedly hanging his hair towel back onto the rack, Javi steps to the door to open it, and find his coach standing there, with an eased expression.

 

“I guess everything is going well for you? No lost skates or costume?”. Brian asks with a humorous tone in his voice, but Javi knows Brian does not want to fool around, especially in such an important event.

 

“Yes, I am glad everything is in the right place this time.” He replies with a laugh.

 

“That’s good. You should call it a day early today. And remember to set the alarm clock, or we will leave without you.” His coach warns, dead serious.

 

“Roger, coach.” He calls as Brian turns his back and leave for his own room, then closes the door.

 

Javi does not go to sleep immediately, with the excuse of waiting for his hair to dry and he kills time by flipping through some Korean TV channels. Of course, there would be some news coverage about Yuzuru’s arrival. Javi watches the people screaming from the screen and recalls him having witnessed that scene in real time. He wonders how much expectation and pressure is being placed on Yuzuru’s shoulders right now and how his ankle is doing. He has been on strong pain killers but judging from the way he winced every time he lands the jumps in practice, his pain killers does not seem to do much work. Javi scrabbles for his phone and quickly types a message to Yuzuru.

 

<Hey, done with press? How’s your ankle doing?

 

He makes the bed when waiting for his training mate’s reply. Luckily, the Olympics organizer give them nice mattress and decent pillows unless the competition will be cancelled due to athletes waking up with an aching back or neck cramp. He did not notice the silent buzz of his phone on the bed until he has settled comfortably under the comforter.

 

>>I prepare to sleep now. Ankle still ache a bit. But will do. Good night Javi. Don’t late, Javi’s practice is sooner than me.

 

Oh, it completely escapes him that they are in different practice session on the first day and his is even sooner than Yuzuru’s, which means he will have to drag his sleepy ass out of the bed earlier, which equals sleeping earlier, and the digital clock mounted to the dresser does not seem to approve Javi still staying up. He must sleep before missing the bus tomorrow. It would be a horrifying scenario and maybe the start of a train wreck burning down this competition for Javi, so he types a quick “Good night” and tries to lure himself to sleep.

 

Practice goes smoothly enough for Javi the next day. Yuzuru is in the group next to him so they meet on the way out of the practice rink and exchange some brief greetings, then Yuzuru follows the coaches into the rink for his turn and Javi to the changing room to get the sweat off his body. He changes with a few people in his group, makes small talks and jokes to lighten the moods and soon steps into the shower stall. When Javi just shuts the shower room’s door while balancing his dirty training clothes, towel and shower gel on his free arm, he almost drops his stuff because Yuzuru, who is not supposed to leave practice for another 30 minutes, is sitting on the bench and setting out clean a t-shirt and pants. Javi wonders if how many reporters camping since early morning inside the rink are left frustrated because of this troll. Yuzuru notices the intrusion and turns to Javi.

 

“I leave early.” He said in a chimmy and nonchalant voice, waving aside all the expectation from the reporters and the sour taste he left in their mouths and cameras.

 

“People hearts are breaking out there”, said Javi with a joking tone.

 

Yuzuru laughs, lightly and clearly. “They will see better soon.” And Javi is sure he sees glimmers in his eyes when he smirks, victoriously.

 

Yuzuru does show better as the Games rolls on. His next practice, this time at the official rink, with Javi and some other familiar faces, is nothing far from his usual top-form practices with his own highly intense and focus bubble radiating dominating aura everywhere he skates pass. They refrain from holding conversation, allowing each other to focus, and weave through other skaters on the ice. Competitiveness in the air of the greatest stage is pervasive, tension slipping between breathes, silent scraping sound of blades gliding on the ice resonating in the sizable stadium, individual marks inscribed on the ice crisscrossing each other. Everything is familiar, but unfamiliar that the same time. Everyone in the skating world who is lucky and capable enough to be sent to international competition, regardless of significance probably submerge themselves in these experience for countless times, let alone someone who competes at the top like Javi, or like Yuzuru, or like anyone who is being absorbed into his own practice out there. Everything heaves up the nervousness but also excitement in Javi’s stomach at any competition, at Sochi as well, but at Sochi, he succumbed to his nervousness and anxiety, which is the reason why he is still standing on the Olympics ice now, and he can’t help but feeling a little thankful. He would have retired then, leaving intense, physically and mentally wearing competition to live a more peaceful and simple life, enjoying the warm sunshine in Spain with his family, his girlfriend, then maybe settling down with a marriage then children, alongside with establishing his little skating school. But continuing to compete was a right decision, a worthy one that brings Javi his sweet 2 world titles, and various European titles, which still remain incumbent, and fueling his journey up to here is no one else but Yuzuru and his perpetual evolution, never stopping challenging Javi, and everyone who is not Yuzuru Hanyu himself to catch up. The clock is running against him, so this time at least, he will try his best to catch up with the guy cladded in black UA who just landed a flawless combo out there, and somehow in his heart, and his mind, much clearer and more tranquil than at Sochi, knows he can.

 

The practice session before the short program day in the practice rink is much more relaxing than Javi has expected. He and Yuzuru exchanges smiles throughout their shared time on ice, running through their programs respectively. When they both come to the board to receive guidance from the coaches, Brian, Tracy, and Ghislain all flash them bright smiles.

 

“Your practice is good, and that makes me look good, too”. Brian proudly looks at them with his warm, twinkling eyes, while Tracy and Ghislain break into a collective laugh.

 

Javi casts his eyes towards Yuzuru, who is tilting his head as if that could make him understand Brian’s words easier, then turns his face back to Javi and flashes him a silly grin. He returns and they high-five each other before withdrawing some tissue to wipe their faces and drinking water to rehydrate themselves. When their assigned practice comes to an end, without prior discussion, both cool their body down with their familiar stroking session with the coaches at the Cricket Club, with Yuzuru smiling throughout the whole session, lightening the air. Javi has never reencountered this feeling since the day they were still young and nameless in the high-level skating world, the day when they could fool around comfortably without any tension looming, the day when official practices at competition could still end with them skating together, in a similar and almost habitual pattern. The nostalgic tanginess of old memories, like a breeze of fresh citrus and mint, lingers with Javi, and it helps him breathe easier amidst suffocating pressure of the Olympics, and he somehow guesses the younger man would feel the same. The old days drift through his mind, as if they were being projected right in front of his eyes, on the ice out there. He is reminded of a visit his family small garden where the fragrance of Mediterranean fruits having ripen under warm sunlight, he pampered him with reassurance, part of the heavy lump of uncertainty in his heart vanishing. Sometimes, it helps revisit something long forgotten.

To be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the process of writing this chapter, I rewatched PC's videos and had a good time being emo over them. Brian actually said that line and made Yuzuru and Javier laughed.  
> The next chapter(s) would be a little hard because I want to convey emotions correctly so it would take another while, but I'm determined to finish this work, so please support me by reading, giving me kudos and comments. Thank you *heart emoji*
> 
> Edit: Thank you, everyone who is very kind to leave kudos and comments for me. I really appreciate them. When I first start writing this, I just think about satisfying my bugging fantasy, not expecting it to be this well-received. I love Yuzu and Javi interaction very much and could just stare at them for hours, and this is the first time I'm so invested that I begin writing about something, so there's plenty of room for improvement. At first I just estimate this fic to be about a 10k-ish one-shot but the total word count until now has exceeded that number a little bit (in my PC), and I have fun thinking up more ideas, so please look forward to the next updates and I will try my best to complete asap. Again, your kudos and comments mean a lot to me, and really encourage me to continue writing this, so thank you guys very much.  
> Visit me at @jurotica on Tumblr :3


	4. Keep going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final moments of their mutual journey and what they have left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I have been more productive than usual so here's the final chapter of this work.  
> There are parts that I skipped when describing the venue ceremony because I'm sure everyone has seen all the footage. This is my first work, so being able to complete it means a lot to me, and I want to thank everyone sincerely for the supporting comments and kudos until now. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy this final chapter.

Yuzuru’s short program feels amazing. He recalls a tiny imperfection in the last spin combo, but after such a long period of sitting out of competition, this is a blessing that he would gladly accept. Everything is in their places, from the starting order, warm up, theme color of the stadium, never-waning cheer from the audience to his program. His heart swells, his ankle seeming not to bother him too much, his heart racing, pumping adrenaline around his body and his ears filled with admiring cheer. Yuzuru knows he is on the right track. Sitting with Brian on one side and Ghislain on the other and wiping his sweat, he impatiently waits for his score. When the number of 111.68 is announced, his two coaches are overjoyed. They constantly pat his back, grab his hand and shake it many times. He has to admit being so close to beating his WR again is a little bit disappointing, but it is not the time for smashing records right now as much as he wants to do that, as Brian has reminded him often enough, so he smiles, and makes the gesture of 1-1-1, earning laugh and squeal from the audience. He is eager to do more in the free and hoping his physical condition will allow him to pull through, because he needs to make it this time. It must be this time, he silently prays, as he has retreated to backstage to watch other competitors.

 

Yuzuru winces with genuine surprise when he watches Nathan’s performance, for the younger man has beaten him twice with his consistent quads. He makes a mental note to give the guy a consoling pat when he comes back here, if he does, for he understands how scary pressure can be, and the distressing effect it can inflict on people. Nathan ends up not coming to his place, so he continues with others’ performances. Everyone does fairly well, and the final 3 skaters are coming up soon. Yuzuru checks the screen for the order, which would be Shoma, then Javi, and finally Boyang. Shoma does very well, putting him in 2ndplace with 2 other skaters to go, which makes Yuzuru very proud, and he would like Shoma to be on the podium with him as well, because that brings glory to their country, and makes people happy. As Shoma arrives in the waiting room, he pulls the younger Japanese into a tight hug, accompanied by “おめでとう”to congratulate him, whiles Shoma blushes, lets out an embarrassed all scrunched-nose smile while thanking him. Javi music is starting by the time they settle in front of the screen again, and Yuzuru can’t help but clasp his hands tight together as if he could send Javi all the strength remaining in his body right now. “Please let Javi so skate well that even he is surprised of himself”, he prays with his eyes glued to the screen and heart beating fast. When his training mate lands his first 4T3T combo, he has to refrain from screaming, since it’s not the end of the competition yet and he doesn’t want to be caught being too emotional at this early stage, but he is sure that pride is intelligible on his face, and there is tear threatening to come out.As Javi finishes his routine, strikes the final pose and breaks into a smile, Yuzuru smiles too, to welcome back his favorite Javi’s gentle, so radiant, familiar and contagious smile that nearly vanishes for the last few months, with the thought that they will certainly stand next to each other on this podium.

 

Walking pass the jostling press crowd on the way into the official press conference room is nothing but an ordinary routine for Yuzuru. He keeps turning down requests for opinion politely, for the press is clearly aware of the upcoming press conference, yet they keep pestering him for their exclusive news’ features, which means more profits for them but more annoyance and tiredness for him. Moreover, they were allowed in his personal press conference a few days ago, and now is not the time he wants to let any information slip. He amuses himself with the dejected face of reporters when he flashes them a professional smile, a slight nod and an utter of sorry. In the press room, Javi has already been sitting at the long tables, with their assigned name cards in front, and Shoma is nowhere to be found as usual. He hopes Shoma won’t be falling asleep in some random place again. He quickly walks to his seat, stopping midway to place a congratulatory pat on Javi’s back, the older man holding his hand gently, returning the gesture as an unspoken congratulation to him as well. A short while later, Shoma appears and rushes to his seat, almost stumbling over, then he seems not to know how to wear the translating earphone, as this kind of thing only exists in the Olympics, where there would be no Akiko-san sitting next to them and translate, so Yuzuru reaches over to help the younger Japanese, with his “senpai” instinct, ends up dropping the earphone, and Shoma has to do it himself, after understanding how to hook the earphones. Their interaction gains stifled laughs from the reporter audience, and Yuzuru is also aware of the warm gaze of Javi’s eyes on them, so he turns to the Spanish skater and beams. That’s how they interact. There is no need to talk about anything, just simply sharing smiles to comfort and raise each other spirit and get their thoughts across. The press conference starts shortly after, reporters taking turn asking questions; many of which are old wives tales, others are as dull as ditchwater and all of them answer with eased grace. However, there is a reporter who asks Javi something that concerns Yuzuru, and he answers with a sarcastic voice and exaggerated eye-rolling, catching Yuzuru’s attention. Javi says everyone keeps asking him about how the Japanese skater was doing when he was injured, and Yuzuru can’t help his snort at Javi’s reaction and answer, but a tinge of wariness bothers him, since people were bothering Javi with questions about him. He wishes the media would ask him more questions about Javi, so he can somehow make up for that and express his gratitude for the other man’s kindness and tell the world that Javi is Javier Fernandez, who will bring the first medal in figure skating for Spain, and who should not be given the plastic title of his “rinkmate” to. The uneasiness nags on until the press conference finishes, and Yuzuru wants to apologize to Javi for being pestered because of his business, but unfortunately, he never has time for that, as the Japanese reporters have been waiting patiently to record his and Shoma’s statement after the short program, so he notes down in back of his brain to see Javi immediately once he’s done with his duty.

 

\---

 

Meeting Javi is hard and easy at the same time. Easy because Yuzuru always knows where to find him or who to ask if he doesn’t know his whereabout. Difficult because he would never be alone, always sitting with Spain Team or with a few other skaters. That is why Yuzuru decides to wait until their practice in the afternoon to approach the other man. They didn’t talk much in the session, busy focusing on rehearsing the determining free program for the next day, but Yuzuru could feel his training mate’s uneasiness, as well as the increasing tension on his right ankle. “This is not the time to give in”, he told himself, and prayed that his ankle would be able to hold up at least until he needs it to. He finds Javi sitting on the bench in the changing room and luckily no one was present. His training mate is occupied with packing the last of his gear into his backpack and seems not to notice his presence. Softly, he touched on the Spanish man’s shoulder to draw his attention and wonders if it’s become Javi’s instinct is smiling whenever he sees him, as he is met with a soft smile, not the usual twinkling-eye one, but one which is still gentle but clearly woven with worry.

 

“I’m sorry, people ask my questions. Must bother you”, he apologizes, going straight to the topic.

 

“Ah… that. Don’t worry, I’m used to it somehow.” Javi lets out a distant hum, eyes still on the things he is rearranging.

 

He should have expected this. Around him, everyone is overshadowed. Journalists don’t care and they just want information, opinions about him, reports on his status and some other private stories that shall never be mentioned to someone outside the circle, not from him, but people who are around him, many of whom he treasured. He loves being the brightest star, the centre of attention on ice, when he is performing, but not in this way. He is tired, guilty as well, but he can’t do anything about that. He just silently hopes that it wouldn’t be cruel enough to break anyone, especially someone like Javi.

 

“You tired?”, he returns to his concerns about the weariness in Javi’s posture and smile.

 

“I don’t know… The feeling is strange.” The other man stops stuffing his backpack, and just loosely rests his hands on the bench. Well, it appears his observation is helpful this time. Yuzuru takes that as a non-resistance to him sitting down on the same bench but makes sure to keep his distance to give Javi as much personal space and comfort as possible.

 

“What could happen after this? I did so well in the short last year and you saw, what occurred in the free was shameful, all shame…Could I not do that again?... I don’t know Yuzu.”

 

Hearing these words saddens Yuzuru but it relaxes him at the same time, since Javi is being open enough with him to trust him with this conversation and he feels the need to return that trust.

 

“How about not thinking? Start brand new? Javi don’t need to waste brain with that.”

 

“Well, look at who’s talking? Lord of overthinking. If you can say those words and force yourself to actually listen, you will save a lot hair for your coaches,” Javi laughs now, good. “but maybe, it helps to be airheaded sometime huh? Remembering stuff is tiring.”

 

“But remember skates is important, old Javi”.

 

Yuzuru notices his friend’s postures gradually soften, as he retorts, then breaks out into a howling laugh himself because Javi tickles him in revenge. Maybe he should listen to his own advice. They are going to get it right this time. He has solid trust in that, himself and Javi as well.

 

\---

 

Yuzuru forces himself to think as little as possible when preparing himself in warm-up room with his team and keeps himself busy with Kikuchi-san’s exercises. Sporadic flashback of his disastrous free-skate at Boston are still wandering around in his mind as he puts on his SEIMEI costume, fingers tracing the yellow embroidered star at the back. He was not the Seimei that he wanted that day and though he knows this time must be his time, the anxiety building up won’t go away that easily. Hard as he tries to stifle it, and he can feel it slipping through his action. He is still collected enough to look stressless and exuberant while messing around with this warm up routine, occasionally annoying Kikuchi-san and Ghislain, making squeaky noise when he catches the ball and imitating Javi’s exercise. The feeling hasn’t completely subdued when he, Javi and the team step outside of the purple curtain separating the back alley and the rink, in the thunderous cheering scream of the audience, which makes his heart jump a beat, but he is quite smug at the thought that only him and his team manages to pull this thing off. He directs his look to Javi, whose face is stern and head held high, gaze directed straight ahead. It appears that his training mate and rival now has been ready to start brand new and there is no reason for Yuzuru Hanyu to yield in a competition, so he gathers his disarrayed thoughts and sets them aside and holds his gaze straight to the ice. Without noticing, a smile, then a challenging and victorious smirk spreads on his lip.

 

The noise of the audience is loud, but his heart beat is even louder, resounding in his ear and his head. He couldn’t hear anything but his own breath, going out, synchronizing with his recorded breath as the music starts. All his mental and physical strength is poured into the routine, into each step, spin and jumps. Each time a jump is landed, the knot on his soul is unraveled a bit, as he pushes himself to move forward. His ankle misbehaves in the second half, making him miss the 3T in his 4T3T combination. However, he refuses to let everything he has been holding on until this moment go, and that thought somehow helps him to miraculously saves the landing of his final 3Lz. As he transits from the jump to his spin combination, in his ears, which was previously deaf of any noise apart from the sound of flutes and drums of the Onmyouji’s soundtrack, suddenly materializes the cheering and handclap sound from the audience along with the beat of the music. It’s magical, he thinks as a smile breaks on his sweaty face while he enters the choreo-sequence, then the final spin. As the final notes ring out and he strikes his final pose, there is nothing he could hear and feel but deafening noise of the audience’s standing ovation and over them all, his heart drumming in his ribcage and lines of sweat running down his back. He is sure his face could be split apart considering how big his grin is at the moment when he couches down gingerly to thank his ankle for holding on for him, for everyone and he kneels down on one leg to thank the ice, touch his hope and his legacy just freshly carved deep on the Olympics ice, and gleefully hope someone will edit a parallel with his Sochi pose. Then, he looks up to take in the view of Pooh bears raining down on him, with a triumphant smile on his face.

 

\---

 

Javi’s heart is thumping as if it’s trying to tear apart his chest. He just finished his free skate and is currently having no idea what’s waiting for him when he steps out of the rink to the Kiss&Cry. “This is it. It’s over.”, he whispers to himself as he braces his hands on his knees to regain his breath. His was not a perfect performance, but he is begging that it won’t cost him a medal that he has yearned for so long. He looks up to the audience cheering him on and waving at him to return them a thankful smile and probably a goodbye.

 

He hugs Brian and Tracy a little bit tighter today. As they proceed to come and sit at the Kiss&Cry corner, his brain can’t do anything other than trying to calculate the score and Javi is bad at math, and he doesn’t know what the judges are having in mind, and he needs a pen, paper and calculator right now. He knows that messy chain of thought is probably written all over his face because his coaches are doing their best to calm him down by patting and rubbing his back. He is so drained to even smile when the screen flashes to the green room, where Yuzuru is smiling too hard his eyes disappear into 2 thin threads, waving, and clapping profusely at him. He wonders why what is taking the announcers too long to announce his score, and unconsciously his gaze keeps travelling up and down to the jumbotron and the mini-screen in front of him, as though the score would unexpectedly jump out without his knowledge. The moment finally comes when Brian is clasping his hands together to pray, and he stares at the jumbotron far above his head and damn it he should wear glasses, as his scores are shown in order: 197.66 for the free and 305.24 in total, taking him to second place, with one more skater to go. Not until he is encaged into a hug by his coaches does it hit Javi that he secured a medal, and the color of the medal suddenly does not matter anymore to him, because his dream has come true, after all these years of agony and regrets. He smiles tearily as he returns the hug of his coaches and kisses Tracy on the cheek, then collects his stuff and heads to the green room, while a part of his team is waiting.

 

Javihardly steps to his seat in the green room when he is met with a weeping Yuzuru. His training mate seems to not be able to control his emotion and is currently trying to smile but cries at the same time. His facial expression is distorted in a funny way with tears falling and smearing all over his face and Javi can’t help but let out a light laugh. His comforting instinct is always naturally triggered when there is a sad Yuzuru in his vicinity. He places an arm around the Japanese skater while holding all his stuff in the other arm and lets him hide his face in Javi’s jacket. He can feel the wetness and hopes that Yuzuru won’t blow his nose there, since they will have to go to the press conference in their uniform jacket, although Javi wouldn’t mind allowing him to. Yuzuru continues sobbing for a short while, then raises his face to meet Javi’s eyes and whispers in a thick, watery voice.

 

“Congratulations Javi. But I want both of us to get gold medal…”

 

That’s all his training mate manages to say before gluing his face back to Javi’s shoulder, and clings his body close to Javi’s with his long and slender arms wrapped tight around his neck. “How could I not be happy at this”, he thinks as his hug tightens around Yuzuru sobbing figure. Memory of World Championship in 2015 comes back to him, with Yuzuru also trying to smile for him but failing to control his own tears at the same time, but at that time, Javi was the one who won the gold medal, not Yuzuru. At that time, he had said to his training mate: “I may win this time, but you’re always the champion of my heart”, because all the grueling and painstaking effort they made in practice in each other as witnesses is something only they know and understand fully. At the 2017 World Championship, the positions were reversed, but Yuzuru had told him the same thing as they embraced under the dim lighting at the rink side those words, only in a more broken-English way. And right here, right now, and ever since they started working side by side as a team, they have always been genuinely happy and proud of each other’s success and wishing that they could share the sole gold medal, a token of victory, though that is never possible. This moves Javi every time he thinks about it, although he never expresses enough in interviews, fearing the media would bend it one way or another, but he knows Yuzuru, more than anyone, understands through his action. He never wants to cry in front of the camera, but his training mate sob and words are pushing him to the verge of shedding tears, so he covers that up by hugging Yuzuru’s head tighter and told him:

 

“There is only one gold medal. You will win it, bring it back and show it to your people, and they will be happy. Ok?”

 

The other man perks up at the question, offers Javi a nod as a confirmation and smiles brightly, albeit there is still tears and snot smeared on his overly reddened face. This is the Yuzuru he wants to see.

 

When Shoma starts his program out there on ice, they finally stop hugging back and forth and sit down. Yuzuru is too emotional to sit still without spilling his eyes out so he retreats to the rest room in order to calm himself and refresh his face, so Javi is left alone with Boyang in the green room. It feels awkward, as Boyang keeps drifting his eyes to him, then darts his eyes away the second Javi turns to him and seemingly wants to strike a conversation.He chooses to assume Boyang is just shy and doesn’t feel like speaking English at first, but soon he realizes the younger skater has just witnessed his and Yuzuru’s weeping soap opera from right at the beginning to the end. Javi runs his hand across his face. Of course, someone else was there. It’s all because Yuzuru and he alway forget others’ presence, from coaches to fellow competitors, when they are overcome with emotions. He utters a small “sorry” Boyang and the other nods understandingly then remains silent to watch Shoma’s program. Yuzuru comes back a short while before Shoma strikes his ending pose. They didn’t talk much after that, too focused on waiting Shoma’s score, which will determine their medal. It’s obvious to anyone that Yuzuru has secured his gold solidly, but it is not Yuzuru if he is neglected about the possibility of his rivals surpassing him. His eyes are still attentively glued to the screen, until the moment Shoma’s score and ranking appear on the screen, which decides that the gold medal wholly belongs to Yuzuru. Tear streams down Yuzuru’s face and he struggles to pull up a smile, a grateful one to acknowledge the people who are out there cheering their hearts out for him. And Javi, too, hides his tears threating to spill by crouching down to lace up his skates.

 

\---

It’s still too surreal to comprehend. Javi could not yet believe he has won a medal, after all the years he has been dreaming about it, a very achievable dream, but far-fetching as well. They are standing at the rink side to wait for the venue ceremony. While Javi is busy blowing kisses to the audience, Shoma and Yuzuru are chatting in rapid Japanese and seem to be joking about something as they burst out laughing together after Yuzuru demonstrated something that looked like a fall. Javi looks around the spacious and bustling stadium, his dream stage. When he first started skating, his aim was to prove people who made fun of him doing a “girly” sport, never thought further than winning at local competitions. When he was first adopted by an international coaching team, he just aimed for making to GP series qualifications and letting the world know that there was a figure skater in Spain. When he came to Brian’s place, and began to compete at the top level, he started to yearn for medals at major competitions. When he met Yuzuru, who already had the Olympics gold medal in mind, Javi was also urged to dream for the same thing. In hindsight, it has been a very long journey. Somewhere in that journey, he was left in despair and lost, but there were times when he felt pure joy and pride in his achievement and effort. Most of his journey was not without the presence of Yuzuru. Right now, standing and staring across the ice, where the podium is being prepared for the well-deserved winners, it’s soaking into him, slowly but transparently, that his journey is slowing down towards the end. He is ready to step down, to give way to the younger generation, and prepare himself for his own future. He has discussed with his coaching team about his retirement many times, but he will talk it over with them one more time as a final goodbye, and to offer them his sincere gratitude. That is for later. For now, he thinks he needs to break the news to his fellow medalists, especially to Yuzuru, because the Japanese skater is so important for Javi to let him to find out the news himself, by the unsympathetic absence of Javi at the Cricket Club or at competitions when next season starts. He wants to say goodbye properly and lend Yuzuru some time to come to terms with the fact that Javi will not be around him that much anymore, as he is much aware that they have long been playing the role of comforting and grounding anchor for each other for so long, and Yuzuru will surely find this unfamiliar. With that thought, Javi gathers the 2 Japanese skaters into his arms into a tight hug, gaining a collective and loud “Awww” from the audience. Immediately, there is sound of many cameras shuttering but he could not care less. He whispers “Congratulations” into their mutual space, and Yuzuru is now snuggling up closer to him, resting his forehead on Javi’s cheek. As his arms tighten on the two Japanese skaters, he slowly said the words that have been bottled up in his mind. This is it.

 

He ends up causing a puddle of Yuzuru Hanyu. The gold medalist is currently wiping tears violently from his eyes and pursing his lips at the bronze medalist. A rare scene at the Olympic Games.

 

“You are bad”. He says then immediately turn away to continue rubbing his eyes.

 

He flashes Yuzuru a sad and helpless smile, then turns to Shoma and pats him on the arm.

 

“Please.” He says to Shoma, knowing that the younger skater could not understand much English, eyeing Yuzuru’s turned back, hoping that would successfully get the idea across. Shoma nods, and smiles at him, understandingly, and Javi is partly relaxed, since he knows there is someone who Yuzuru is at ease with around in the future. Faintly tears overspills his eyes, so he tries to wipe the tear as discreetly as possible, but it seems Yuzuru has noticed that, and offers him a gentle smile.

 

After the victory lap, they gather at the board to take a group photo, then Shoma hurriedly escapes to the backstage, leaving only Yuzuru and Javi on the ice, surrounded by cameras flashing non-stop. Brian and Ghislain are there, whipping out their own phones, as their 2 skaters pose, arms hanging around each other shoulders. This is certainly not their final photos, since there are still many chances for them to meet in summer ice shows, but Javi has to make sure to ask his coach to send it over so he has one saved in his own phone later. As his arm retreats from Yuzuru, the other skater throws himself into Javi, circling his arms firmly around his body. He is caught by surprised but soon closes his eyes to enjoy the warm feeling of Yuzuru’s hug. It feels like the first time they hugged each other on the couch at 2012 Finlandia Trophy’s backstage, genuine, warm and full of appreciation for each other. Javi does know Yuzuru will be fine when he’s back away from competing stage because he’s the most affectionate but also the most courageous personality Javi has ever encountered on his journey as a person as well as a skater. When they back away from their hug, he looks straight into Yuzuru’s eyes and raises his hand, which is met instant with Yuzuru’s palm. This certainly won’t be their last hi-five though.

 

Javi steps out of the ice slowly, soaking in the lingering feeling of leaving the Olympics ice. Folding his national flag neatly, he turns his back around one last time to look at the ice, his life and dream, while Yuzuru is gathering his coaches for a photo. “I can’t do it without you…” was what Yuzuru said in a tear-choked voice to him, but he knows his training mate will continue to conquer unvisited territory from now on, and his belief is solidly grounded. This might be the end of their mutual journey, but they will never stop stepping forward, in their respective directions. The legacy of their unique friendship and rivalry will be left behind as something historic of the figure skating world, and he can’t wait to find out what will become of their future.

 

 The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading my work until the end! Your support means a lot to me and is the inspiration and encouragement to me throughout the process of writing this fic. I have never thought writing would suit me, but I am rethinking that now :). I have been drafting some ideas for my new work, so I hope I could stick around for a while. I hope everyone has enjoyed my writing, and continue to support me in my upcoming works.  
> Visit me at my tumblr: @jurotica


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